Scared of Relationships
It’s happened again. It’s happened about three times now, and I still don’t know why I’m like this. I meet a guy and we’re more than friends but not officially dating. Then this fear overcomes me which ultimately leads me to backing out. Why am I so scared of being in a relationship?
First of all, I want to say that it’s absolutely alright to change your mind about being in a relationship. However, I still haven’t been able to understand my aversion to them. Sometimes, I get this urge to be in one but once I'm actually there, I start to worry. I think it’s best to end things before they develop any further but it’s putting me off being in a relationship at all. Perhaps I’m acting too quickly but I'm the type of person who needs to do things quickly.
I’m guessing it’s a compilation of many factors: fear of the future, not being comfortable in my own body, worrying that I’ll be seen as boring, etc. I try to placate myself by telling myself it’ll be okay when the right guy comes along but it stresses me out. Ultimately, it’s okay to be eighteen and not be in a relationship but there are pressures — internal and external. I do want to have someone to cuddle and be happy with, but I want it to be the right person. Maybe I’m living in a fantasy, after all, you learn through trials and failures.
I really hope it’s not like this next time. I’m tired of being scared but I don’t know how to change it. Furthermore, part of me enjoys being single; there’s a freedom and lack of worry. It’s silly really, there are so many more significant issues out there and here I am, worrying about relationships. This is a part of myself I really don’t like, and am frustrated with.
What should I do?