How does it feel to have regained that power you had lost? Remember how your happiness used to depend on someone else, for so long you would only be happy when they were happy somehow? Remember how you would have sleepless nights because they were not talking to you or because they were angry at you?
When you fall in love with someone, it doesn’t matter if you are dating them or you are not, but when you fell for that person, you lost all that control. Just like that you gave away your happiness into the hands of someone else. You might take a couple of months, years maybe but sometimes it takes you an instant to fall in love and right at that moment you dedicate your entire power to someone else.
From that day onward, you will be powerless over your own happiness. You might control theirs too or maybe you don’t have the power yet but yours has been signed over right there. As time goes on, you guys will have ups and downs. Your happiness also goes up and down along with your relationship. You feel complete and truly happy when everything is perfect between the both of y'all.
Then out of nowhere, sometimes you see the end coming, it happens. You lose them. After months, maybe years, you just lose them just like that within a couple of seconds. That loss is the most pain you will ever feel. For some months you keep wondering if it gets better. You sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and blame yourself for it going sour. Of course you are right on a few occasions that it was your fault but mostly you give yourself blame even when it truly was not your doing. They break you just like that, then what happens?
You have to retrace your steps. You have to go back, step by step picking up the pieces of your heart which were scattered during the break. You slowly pick them up and try to place them together. A few times you fail to do so and you breakdown. Your friends try to tell you that everything will be fine but it does not feel like it at the moment. So you carry on sobbing. You cry yourself to sleep a couple of times listening to the playlist he made you or scrolling down the conversations you had with them. Then one day it happens…
You wake up and you feel absolutely nothing, Nothing at all. The pain is numb. No pain, no hurt, nada, zilch! Literally you wake up and it does not hurt no more. Now back to the question, how does it feel? How does it feel to have your power back? How does it feel to be able to control your emotions once again? That moment is the one we all look forward to after a disastrous heartbreak. It is moments like that which make us not give up and quit. So ask yourself, are you ready to get back the power?
Written by: Theo Bryan Mfhaladi