My blog is a collection of answers people don’t want to hear to questions they didn’t ask.
― Sebastyne Young


Writing is not a hobby. It's the only way I get to shut up the demons in my head.
― Mark Maish


Prose is architecture, not interior decoration.
― Ernest Hemingway


Do not judge my story by the chapter you walked in on.
― Unknown



Mental Health Awareness Week 2019

Mental Health Awareness Week 2019

Today marks the last day of 2019’s Mental Health Awareness week. I’ve been super busy so haven’t had the chance to write anything up until now! However, I have seen so many people add a contribution to this much needed week. Whether it be personal stories or just showing support to those who are facing some for of mental health issue, it has been incredible to see that the stigma surrounding mental health is slowing breaking and that we are in fact creating awareness. So much more does need to be done however I feel like today’s society is going in the right direction with this and we will definitely see a huge improvement.  

Today I want to talk about my on-going journey and hopefully let that bring some awareness to the different mental health issues out there. Unfortunately I don’t just suffer from one mental health issue😂 I really got given a multitude of issues cos why not 🤣🤣 Right now I suffer from depression, anxiety and OCD. This is all from my PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). My depression is something I have learnt to kind of calm down, I’ve hit rock bottom plenty of times but I have found coping mechanisms that allow me to get myself out of dark places. For me, tweeting about my mental health is what helps me cope because I really want to talk about it all but I don’t want to tell actual people because I feel like I would just be burdening people with my problems or that they would only see me for all my issues, when in reality I am more than my mental health. A lot of people won’t agree or understand why I do that but that’s okay! It’s something that works for me and I’ll continue doing that for as long as I need to. My anxiety and OCD are more significant in my life, they can both effect my day to day life. My anxiety is a bit more than worrying about things - I do worry about things, but I also overthink things; I can’t concentrate or focus; I’m always restless; when I get worried about things I can start uncontrollably shaking. For years I suffered in silence and didn’t tell anyone about it, let alone tell the doctors about it. However I finally went to the doctors and they diagnosed me with a severe anxiety disorder. I was faced with many options to help with my anxiety, one of them being medication. At this point, a lot of people had told me not to go on medication because it’s bad for you, it does nothing for you and many people told me not to go on medication just because. Me being me (🤣) I decided to do my research and try the medication route. I had to try 3 different medications to find one that worked for me. If you are starting on medication and they’re not working for you, don’t be disheartened as you may have to try a few like me before you find the right one. The first two I was on, citalopram and the other one which I can’t remember because it was so long ago lol, were not good for me. They would make me feel really ill and would make my depression and anxiety really bad for about 1.5-2 weeks before the meds started working. So as some one who forgets to do things, I.e take their daily medication lmao, this was a problem I faced all the time! If I forgot to take it for two days, I’d have to go through nearly two weeks of really bad mental health just for it to get better, it was tragic to say the least. After talking to my doctor again, and explaining how I couldn’t sleep because I would have nightmares and be too scared to fall asleep, she prescribed me Mirtzapine and thankfully this medication actually worked! I was on the smallest dosage and had to take this one daily as well however it didn’t come with the horrible side effects I had gotten with citalopram. It calmed down my anxiety attacks and actually got me to fall back asleep when I had nightmares. For me, it worked. But also for me, there was a massive stigma around medication. I really hope that we can break down this stigma surrounding medication for mental health issues because without the medication my anxiety would be 10x worse, I had tried for years to calm down my anxiety but nothing worked for me. Right now, I can sleep knowing that if I do have a nightmare I can fall back asleep & being able to sleep has definitely improved how I deal with my anxiety. I don’t take my medication right now because I feel like I don’t need it but I know that the option of medication is still always there for me  

I have definitely rambled on in this blog 😂 but the aim of this blog is to talk about mental health and raise awareness about mental health issues. For a long time I had a very negative view towards everything I was going through, and still am going through, but now I try and turn it into something positive. I talk about everything I go through in hope that we can continue to break down this stigma and allow people to get the help they need. I want people to be able to talk about their problems without feeling like they’re a burden or worrying how people will view them. A big shoutout to those who have supported me through this; reminding me how strong I am. Sometimes I forget the strength I have but when I look back to see how far I have come, I realise just how strong I am and that I can continue being more than my mental health issues. 

My love goes out to all those who are suffering from mental health issues, suffering silently or loudly, suffering from some that may be invisible, suffering from the ones we don’t see talked about on social media such as bipolar; schizophrenia; body dysmorphia; eating disorders, my love goes out to everyone fighting this battle ♥️ Unfortunately a lot of people are not with us today because of mental health issues they suffered and my love also goes out to them, for fighting as long as they did ♥️

It is hard journey but I promise you we can do it! Find someone you can talk to, I promise someone is willing to listen and help.  

Here are some places you can go to for help! 

Samaritans :  (phone) 116123

CALM : (phone)  0203 967 9331

Referring yourself to your local NHS wellbeing centre 

if you are employed, occupational health

if you are a student, student support  


all my love, Quenelle ♥️ 

Raheem Sterling - more than just a footballer?

Raheem Sterling - more than just a footballer?